How to Read Job Ads
How to Read Job Ads for Beginners and Newcomers:
Here is the translation what you can REALLY expect whenever you see one of these in a Classifieds Careers/Jobs section:
"exceptional positive attitude" -> translation: *Boss is an asshole and a dictator who blows off his top thirteen times a day!*
"willing to work long hours" -> translation: *Forget about your family, or any personal life at all!*
"stamina to work long hours" -> translation: *In other words you are expected to be a cross between a jackass, a camel and an ox!*
"you are a self-starter" -> translation: *We have no idea what we are doing, but we sincerely hope, you will!*
"can work independently" -> translation: *Don't expect any support from us!*
"provide assurance and consulting services to our clients" -> translation: *You are an extremely skillful liar!*
"exceptional organizational skills" -> translation: *We hope we finally get someone who can clean up that big mess we have here!*
"winning positive attitude" -> translation: *Never get bogged down no matter how stupid the management decisions are!*
"ability to work in fast-paced environment" -> translation: *Break? What break'?*
"you feel like an essential member of a corporate family" -> translation: *You are not going to tell our secrets to the tax office, right?*
"you are responsible and dependable" -> translation: *We expect you to keep your mouth shut no matter what you see, what we do/don't do!*
"willing to work hard" -> translation: *Slavery, the legal way.*
"extremely busy environment" -> translation: *We are understaffed!*
"friendly customer service" -> translation: *You are mentally challenged and smiling to it!*
"outstanding customer support service" -> translation: *You have an experience as a lion tamer or at least as a high school teacher!*
"ability to work in a challenging environment" -> translation: *You can always B.S. your way out!*
"positive outlook" -> translation: *What? You expect us to actually pay you for your work'?!*
Copyright © Dagmar Rakos
------------------------------------------------------Want more fun? Download FREE 3Q's booklet Original Quips, Quacks and Questions http://www.makeyourhobbysell.com/mybooks/3qs-vol1.zip ------------------------------------------------------
About the author: ----------------------------------------------------------------- ---- Want more fun? Download FREE 3Q's booklet Original Quips, Quacks and Questions http://www.makeyourhobbysell.com/mybooks/3qs-vol1.zip
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